Self-Esteem CounselingCounseling and Resources on Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem Counseling and Resources
Self-esteem is about how a person sees himself or herself, or a person’s opinion about the self. Sometimes people say self-concept or self-worth and mean the same thing. There are a lot of influences on a person’s self-esteem, such as how things were when you were growing up or events that have happened in your life. When you have low self-esteem, it can have a negative influence on your mood and on your actions. Self-esteem counseling is one of the areas that our counselors specialize in.
Self-esteem can be thought of as having three parts – self-worth, unconditional love for the self, and personal growth.
The hardest work in building self-esteem is challenging deeply held beliefs about the self that erode self-worth and unconditional love for the self. Growth helps a person to build up self-esteem over time by learning, improving and having the sense of working towards being the best person you can be.
Image provided courtesy of KLStenzel Photography
A great resource on building self-esteem is The Self-Esteem Workbook, by Glenn Schiraldi. Your counselor may utilize this book in working on self-esteem with you or may refer to the ideas presented in it to help you develop strategies for yourself that fit your personality and lifestyle.
You can also download our client handout on getting started working on self-esteem: Self-Esteem-Resources.pdf. For those that feel they don’t have self-esteem or have low self-esteem, the process of how you improve your own self-esteem can seem daunting, scary, or confusing. Where do you start? How exactly do you “find” better self-esteem?
First of all, I have found the following resources to be very helpful to clients:
My number one pick for a book to build self esteem is this one: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
Daring Greatly, Brene Brown, http://www.brenebrown.com
The Everything Guide to Self-Esteem, Nanette Burton Mongelluzzo, Ph.D., LPC.
Self-Esteem Workbook, by Schiraldi, Fanning and McKay
Flourish, Martin Seligman, http://www.authentichappiness.com
Journal to the Self: Twenty-Two Paths to Personal Growth, Kathleen Adams, MA
Madly In Love With Me, Christine Arylo
One of the best places to start working on your own self-esteem is to begin with uncovering your own core beliefs about your worth as a person.
Yes, this is much easier said than done. Core beliefs are those deep down thoughts and driving forces that affect how we think about ourselves, our world, and the people around us.
They cause us to feel unmotivated (or unable) to work towards the career we really want, or to accept being treated in ways we don’t like by people around us, or to feel depressed and anxious. Uncover those core beliefs and transform them into more realistic and positive beliefs that strengthen self-worth rather than erode it.
Part of being realistic about the self is giving equal weight to negative and positive characteristics. We all have both, but it is a lot easier to take in negative beliefs than it is for the positive ones. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Know your values and live them.
I love Christine Arylo’s Self-Love Tree, and I’ve included the image below.
The strength and love of your self is supported by self-worth. Here’s where those beliefs come in to play!
And what grows from self-love are the qualities you see in the branches of this tree – acceptance, empowerment, respect, esteem, etc..
Each of those resources above can help you to tackle those core beliefs and get to know your worth and the real you.
Each of our counselors works with clients to offer self-esteem counseling.
At the Littleton/Ken Caryl office, which also serves the areas of Lakewood, Morrison, Roxborough, Highlands Ranch, and Columbine Valley:
Jodi Hardesty works Fridays and Saturdays and works with individuals on self-esteem counseling.
At the DTC/Centennial office we are open Tuesdays and Wednesdays only. This office also serves the areas of Greenwood Village, Englewood, Cherry Creek, Lone Tree and Denver:
Keiko Yoneyama-Sims works with individuals and is available on Tuesday and Wednesday, mornings and mid-day.