Resilience - What makes a person resilient?

What is Resilience? – Resiliency Information by LifePaths Counseling Center

How can you be more resilient in your life?

It IS possible to become more resilient and here are a few things to consider to do just that.  These are some of the things that resilient people do:

Monitor thoughts – There are a number of thought patterns called “thought distortions” which can cause people distress.  One of these is often called “personalizing.”  That is when a negative thing happens and you assume that it has to do with you.  For instance, you glance around your classroom and notice a friend looking your way with a frown on her face.  If you assume that she is upset with you for some reason, and start to believe that is true without checking it out first, you are personalizing.  A more realistic way of handling this is to notice that your friend is upset and ask her about it without assuming she is upset with you.  Monitoring your thoughts to know when you may be getting stuck in a thought distortion and replacing those negative thoughts with more realistic ones will help you be more resilient.

Accept circumstances – People who are resilient will accept circumstances that happen around them more quickly, allowing the person to more quickly figure out what to do about a situation.  When you don’t accept what is happening around you, you use a lot of energy wishing it were different, going through “what ifs”, and complaining to others about how bad it is.  Skip ahead – figure out what you can and can’t control, and then decide what to do about the things you can control. 

Maintain self-awareness – People who are resilient are able to both participate in conversations with others and function in life, while also keeping an internal awareness of how they are functioning in life.  You might call this a mental state that is the opposite of being on “auto-pilot” in your life.  You stay aware of how people influence you, how you influence them, you notice these things in interactions you have with others, and you understand how your own emotions might be affected in these moments.

Resilience, well-being, and positive change are built into our work at LifePaths Counseling.

These are a part of how we work with all counseling and therapy clients.

Building Resilience – Most of us have more strengths than we realize. We can help you to recognize your own strengths and find ways to use them most effectively to overcome challenges and in everyday life. There are also practical skills you can learn to be more resilient – stress reduction, self care, relaxation techniques, anger management, effective communication, healthy boundaries, and more.

Improving Well-Being – Well-being is made up of many components. We believe it is important to strive for balance and healthy functioning in your life in the areas of: family, friends, your life partner relationship, physical health, work/school, social activities/hobbies, and spirituality.

Bringing Positive Change – People often get counseling to create or manage change. This may be an improvement in a part of life, coping with unexpected or unwanted change, or navigating a life transition. Change isn’t always easy but whether it is a positive or negative change, focusing on managing it rather than avoiding, denying, or minimizing the transition will help you get through it most successfully.

All of our training and experience is leveraged with these ideas in mind, to help you not only overcome the problem that brought you to counseling but to thrive in your life with your unique challenges, desires, relationships, and successes.